this makes no sense and all the sense in the world. With all the nonsense of now for some strange reason I find myself thinking back to when my sons were babies. There were those moments on the change table when they arched up and pissed all over me and themselves and the look of glee on their face. Then the times when I had just finished changing them and the look of concentration on their face - then the look of happiness, knowing that they just shit themselves again. The paradox is that none of this was an ordeal or a chore. It all went under the description of hilarious fun. Then there were times on the very same change table I wanted to gobble their toes up in a fit of adoration.
now I have read all this advice to the contrary but the greatest moments were when they were lying on my chest and fell asleep. That moment beyond relaxation. I wondered even at this early age, what were they dreaming about? They would smile. What subconscious thought generated that smile? Then the moments were I fell asleep as well and the feeling when I woke up. It didn't happen often, but when it did it felt awesome.
they are 18 and 20 now and there are so many moments along the way but I can't help thinking back to these moments in time. It felt real and whole. It also felt like yesterday.
yesterday I saw a sleeping baby in a pram on the street. maybe as a cure to now we have a day of looking at sleeping babies. Whilst thinking and reveling in the idea that there can be a future.
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