back to normal

not really comfortable with the term. Even before all this happened; I'm not really sure what it means. In different degrees and to different people, normal is such a subjective term. Maybe if I go through some obvious things that are not normal now and describe them as normal, it might go some way to forming some view.

children going to school 

spectators spectating

people eating in restaurants

people travelling more than 5 kilometres

for me personally it's seeing my sons, playing music once a week or even occasionally going to the movies.

but then there are things that are not so obvious. Like the virus suppressing a person's true nature. I used to have a boss who loved nothing more than being an asshole and a control freak. The virus must be killing her right now because she has to put all these protective measures in place and actually pretend she cares. She must miss me so much, being her number one whipping boy. Trying to quash your inner tyrant must be murder.

then there is the recent phenomenon of the amount of people yelling conspiracy theories on the tram. Or just yelling hostile nonsense. Maybe this is a quantity issue in relation to the virus right now. Normally, they might be happy to do the same thing at home.

the other thing I have noticed in recent times is supermarket rage. People going into a seething frenzy over the most mundane consumer items at the registers.  Then there are the things that happen at home like people giving it to call center operators. Maybe this could be a regular thing and have a long history, only with a greater frequency right now. I have heard the pre-call message about treating our operators with courtesy and respect, and we hope you do the same more than a few times lately.

maybe with everything that has been, or not been, happening over the last six months, the term normal could be an easy topic of preoccupation. Especially when the very idea of it could seem - illusory.

the debate

 the photo above is not only a bucket of dung but moreover and specifically - two buckets of dung.

in the history and the hierarchy of the most monumentally dumb things I have ever done in my life, there is a new number one.

I watched the United States presidential debate yesterday

I don't know how my outlook has evolved to this; so many examples of nonsense from so many idiots of various political stripes, but over the past few years I have become apolitical. Don't confuse my contempt for bias based on any affiliation, or stating my contempt somehow demeans any inherent bias or affiliation. I am an equal opportunity in this regard and I don't care. Whoever they are; if someone acts like a serial fuckwit and barks like a serial fuckwit, well then they must be a serial fuckwit. Especially when you just know they are lying.

but one moment sealed the deal for me yesterday; affirmed and clarified my outlook. Paradoxically, this one moment happened briefly and in the form of a statement by each candidate. Really, all the rest was petulant bickering and interruptions. If I knew then what I know now, all I had to do was watch this moment and resign myself to the fact that this codifies the whole thing as a complete disaster, instead of screaming, "I cannot believe I am watching this pile of shit!!" twenty minutes into the broadcast.

Trump.

"Proud Boys. Stand back and stand by"

Biden

"Antifa is an idea, not an organisation"

now I have no desire to expand upon or to explain my view of these two statements. I am having a hard enough time coming to terms in the "what the hell are you talking about?" department.

but the whole thing was bad hyperbole merged with gossip as philosophy.

and exhausting.

he's back

 Victoria Street mall in Coburg, two in the afternoon. The man smoking through his mask is back again.

now I may fold under cross examination for making a blanket assumption, but judging from the nicotine stains on it he is smoking through the same mask from a fortnight ago. If someone is struggling for the true definition of the term beyond disgusting, I think I've found it.

now, speaking of definitions, and I am in two minds about this one, this action would have to represent the epoch of laziness - or is it neglect? or both. If you could point to the ultimate candidate for a $5000 fine in this psycho regulation moment in time, this would have to be the one. But technically, he is wearing a mask. Over the nose and everything. Even has two circular nicotine stains in the nasal area.

my internal dialogue is wondering what I could do to rectify this situation. I can't give him my face shield because they've been banned. I could go and buy a new mask if not for one problem. Looking at him let alone going anywhere near him makes me want to dry reach. Let's put it down to a passing thought.

Now I had an idea in relation to the main problem I have with masks right now - facial recognition. A person walked past me and said hey, how are you? in a familiar tone and I had no idea who they were. Still don't to this very day.

Call this out for what it is - a gimmick, but take a picture of the nose and mouth area of a person and print it on a mask for them to wear.

Or better still, take a picture of the nose and mouth area of Brad Pitt and print it for me to wear.

Because facially, I have been told I have the looks of Brad Pitt.

In a poor light

name omitted

 

the wall just near the bus stop on Moreland Road; graffiti that fills me in on a certain fact I was unaware of - 

(name omitted) IS A RAPIST!!!!!

note the exclamation marks. Blogging is such a limited medium so I had to omit the multiple underlines. Also, I always feel confronted when I see capital letters. Reminds me of when people text you angry responses on the internet. Gives you the feeling that kooky person business is at hand. 

so I have been walking past this graffiti for over a week. Curiosity is getting the better of me. Just who is this (name omitted) person? the following action makes me feel like somewhat of a voyeur, but what the hell, Facebook is a public medium, why can't I search and see what a (name omitted) IS A RAPIST!!!!! looks like? It's not like I am going to send him a friend request.

"Hey (name omitted), I've seen your name on a wall in the street for over a week now and rumor has it, I hear you like raping! Let's be pals!"

but something dulled my curiosity once I started to do a search. For such a distinctive name, I couldn't believe the volume of (name omitted) there actually are, all over the world.

about fifteen searches down and this one seems near this area. Opening the page it seems all standard; a picture of a dog, one who I can only assume is (name omitted) leaning against his car and (name omitted) riding a bike.

I scroll down and there is a picture of who I think might be (name omitted) is with a woman. With comments below - 

"so are you?"

(name omitted) "am I what?"

and now I witness my first experience of a person virtually butting into a conversation

"yes he is !!!! (name omitted) IS A RAPIST!!!!! he is fucking SCUM!!!"

note the capitals and exclamation marks. Kooky person business.

at this stage I am not thinking about the rules of evidence but my curiosity is pretty much satisfied.

as far as (name omitted) goes.

Pepys diary entries September 1665

One observation from early on; the day of fasting has a name. Lord's Day. Now there are concerns surrounding the practice of putting on your Sunday best. The background is quite gory (3/9)

"(Lord’s day). Up; and put on my coloured silk suit very fine, and my new periwigg, bought a good while since, but durst not wear, because the plague was in Westminster when I bought it; and it is a wonder what will be the fashion after the plague is done, as to periwiggs, for nobody will dare to buy any haire, for fear of the infection, that it had been cut off of the heads of people dead of the plague."

members of the community, both Church and State would gather to discuss actions to prevent the spread of the sickness, but now there seems a myriad of dilemmas presenting themselves, all in the description of one incident.

"Church being done, my Lord Bruncker, Sir J. Minnes, and I up to the Vestry at the desire of the justices of the Peace, Sir Theo. Biddulph and Sir W. Boreman and Alderman Hooker, in order to the doing something for the keeping of the plague from growing; but Lord! to consider the madness of the people of the town, who will (because they are forbid) come in crowds along with the dead corps to see them buried; but we agreed on some orders for the prevention thereof. Among other stories, one was very passionate, methought, of a complaint brought against a man in the towne for taking a child from London from an infected house. Alderman Hooker told us it was the child of a very able citizen in Gracious Street, a saddler, who had buried all the rest of his children of the plague, and himself and wife now being shut up and in despair of escaping, did desire only to save the life of this little child; and so prevailed to have it received stark-naked into the arms of a friend, who brought it (having put it into new fresh clothes) to Greenwich; where upon hearing the story, we did agree it should be permitted to be received and kept in the towne. Thence with my Lord Bruncker to Captain Cocke’s, where we mighty merry and supped, and very late I by water to Woolwich, in great apprehensions of an ague (malaria or another illness involving fever and shivering). Here was my Lord Bruncker’s lady of pleasure, who, I perceive, goes every where with him; and he, I find, is obliged to carry her, and make all the courtship to her that can be."

Now one practice I have not mentioned is the writing of letters that takes place at various times of the day, sometimes the volume of the writing taking place long into the night. Also, the presence of death now being in frequent attendance (4/9)

"Writing letters all the morning, among others to my Lady Carteret, the first I have wrote to her, telling her the state of the city as to health and other sorrowfull stories, and thence after dinner to Greenwich, to Sir J. Minnes, where I found my Lord Bruncker, and having staid our hour for the justices by agreement, the time being past we to walk in the Park with Mr. Hammond [L&M say “Mrs.” P.G.] and Turner, and there eat some fruit out of the King’s garden and walked in the Parke, and so back to Sir J. Minnes, and thence walked home, my Lord Bruncker giving me a very neat cane to walk with; but it troubled me to pass by Coome farme where about twenty-one people have died of the plague, and three or four days since I saw a dead corps in a coffin lie in the Close unburied, and a watch is constantly kept there night and day to keep the people in, the plague making us cruel, as doggs, one to another."

I do not know of it's history, but the practice of lighting fires as a method of fumigation appeared and funeral processions becoming commonplace (6/9)

"Busy all the morning writing letters to several, so to dinner, to London, to pack up more things thence; and there I looked into the street and saw fires burning in the street, as it is through the whole City, by the Lord Mayor’s order. Thence by water to the Duke of Albemarle’s: all the way fires on each side of the Thames, and strange to see in broad daylight two or three burials upon the Bankeside, one at the very heels of another: doubtless all of the plague; and yet at least forty or fifty people going along with every one of them"

the author has fears he might be coming down with the sickness, but still persists with his grim, weekly duty in collecting the Bill of Mortality (7/9)

"Up by 5 of the clock, mighty full of fear of an ague, but was obliged to go, and so by water, wrapping myself up warm, to the Tower, and there sent for the Weekely Bill, and find 8,252 dead in all, and of them 6,878 of the plague; which is a most dreadfull number, and shows reason to fear that the plague hath got that hold that it will yet continue among us." 

now the imposition of the plague upon travel is hampering other family members (8/9)

"I was in great trouble all this day for my boy Tom who went to Greenwich yesterday by my order and come not home till to-night for fear of the plague, but he did come home to-night, saying he staid last night by Mr. Hater’s advice hoping to have me called as I come home with my boat to come along with me."

to complicate this moment in time even further, England was at war with the Dutch over trade routes which had a direct bearing on Pepys in his role as Administrator of the Navy. There was a definite problem with funding and a need for reform, especially after the fleet returning from battle (9/9)

"But that that put us into this great melancholy, was newes brought to-day, which Captain Cocke reports as a certain truth, that all the Dutch fleete, men-of-war and merchant East India ships, are got every one in from Bergen the 3d of this month, Sunday last; which will make us all ridiculous. The fleete come home with shame to require a great deale of money, which is not to be had, to discharge many men that must get the plague then or continue at greater charge on shipboard, nothing done by them to encourage the Parliament to give money, nor the Kingdom able to spare any money, if they would, at this time of the plague, so that, as things look at present, the whole state must come to ruine."

another example of how the plague posed an impediment on daily life (10/9)

"Walked home; being forced thereto by one of my watermen falling sick yesterday, and it was God’s great mercy I did not go by water with them yesterday, for he fell sick on Saturday night, and it is to be feared of the plague. So I sent him away to London with his fellow."

then the added news of the possibility of plague reaching a family member

"My wife before I come out telling me the ill news that she hears that her father is very ill, and then I told her I feared of the plague, for that the house is shut up. And so she much troubled she did desire me to send them something; and I said I would, and will do so."

visiting familiar places, such as the Exchange, brings forth certain anticipations (14/9) 

"And having taken a copy of my Lord’s letter, I away back again to the Beare at the Bridge foot, being full of wind and out of order, and there called for a biscuit and a piece of cheese and gill of sacke (Spanish white wine), being forced to walk over the Bridge, toward the ’Change, and the plague being all thereabouts. Here my news was highly welcome, and I did wonder to see the ’Change so full, I believe 200 people; but not a man or merchant of any fashion, but plain men all. And Lord! to see how I did endeavor all I could to talk with as few as I could, there being now no observation of shutting up of houses infected, that to be sure we do converse and meet with people that have the plague upon them." 

then to later in the day; so many moments of reflection for friends, associates and even complete strangers who have died or are ill

"Where, when I come home I spent some thoughts upon the occurrences of this day, giving matter for as much content on one hand and melancholy on another, as any day in all my life. For the first; the finding of my money and plate, and all safe at London, and speeding in my business of money this day. The hearing of this good news to such excess, after so great a despair of my Lord’s doing anything this year; adding to that, the decrease of 500 and more, which is the first decrease we have yet had in the sickness since it begun: and great hopes that the next week it will be greater. Then, on the other side, my finding that though the Bill in general is abated, yet the City within the walls is encreased, and likely to continue so, and is close to our house there. My meeting dead corpses of the plague, carried to be buried close to me at noon-day through the City in Fanchurch-street. To see a person sick of the sores, carried close by me by Gracechurch in a hackney-coach. My finding the Angell tavern, at the lower end of Tower-hill, shut up, and more than that, the alehouse at the Tower-stairs, and more than that, the person was then dying of the plague when I was last there, a little while ago, at night, to write a short letter there, and I overheard the mistresse of the house sadly saying to her husband somebody was very ill, but did not think it was of the plague. To hear that poor Payne, my waiter, hath buried a child, and is dying himself. To hear that a labourer I sent but the other day to Dagenhams, to know how they did there, is dead of the plague; and that one of my own watermen, that carried me daily, fell sick as soon as he had landed me on Friday morning last, when I had been all night upon the water (and I believe he did get his infection that day at Brainford), and is now dead of the plague. To hear that Captain Lambert and Cuttle are killed in the taking these ships; and that Mr. Sidney Montague is sick of a desperate fever at my Lady Carteret’s, at Scott’s-hall. To hear that Mr. Lewes hath another daughter sick. And, lastly, that both my servants, W. Hewer and Tom Edwards, have lost their fathers, both in St. Sepulchre’s parish, of the plague this week, do put me into great apprehensions of melancholy, and with good reason. But I put off the thoughts of sadness as much as I can, and the rather to keep my wife in good heart and family also."

the contemplation of a close friend being ill and the subsequent relief it is a different problem altogether (15/9)

"Then to my business again, and by and by sent my waterman to see how Sir W. Warren do, who is sicke, and for which I have reason to be very sorry, he being the friend I have got most by of most friends in England but the King: who returns me that he is pretty well again, his disease being an ague."

an entry displaying how the process of communication can be problematic, even with the familiar (18/9)

"I hear by every body how much my poor Lord of Sandwich was concerned for me during my silence a while, lest I had been dead of the plague in this sickly time."

even with the rapid and ever continuing upheaval, still a moment to contemplate  what to be grateful for. (24/9)

"By and by to dinner about 3 o’clock and then I in the cabbin to writing down my journall for these last seven days to my great content, it having pleased God that in this sad time of the plague every thing else has conspired to my happiness and pleasure more for these last three months than in all my life before in so little time. God long preserve it and make me thankful for it!"

once again, dealing with the process of communication, maybe unaware of the severity of the illness of an associate (29/9)

"I hear for certain this night upon the road that Sir Martin Noell is this day dead of the plague in London, where he hath lain sick of it these eight days."

we reach the end of the month, certainly not without the problems escalating rapidly over the last three months. Maybe survival is the ultimate reason to be appreciative (30/9)

"So to sleep with a good deal of content, and saving only this night and a day or two about the same business a month or six weeks ago, I do end this month with the greatest content, and may say that these last three months, for joy, health, and profit, have been much the greatest that ever I received in all my life in any twelve months almost in my life, having nothing upon me but the consideration of the sicklinesse of the season during this great plague to mortify mee. For all which the Lord God be praised!"

now a few entries I have omitted for the reason of grim repetition. But aside from the reflection about the nature of the sickness, there is also some degree of emotional reflection, possibly as a method of coping.

 

 

Pepys diary entries August 1665

 

one strange development proclaimed in July was the observance of a fast on the first Wednesday of every month, put in place in order to appease the wrath of God's heavy hand. I don't know of anyone who has done this today, but early August (2/8) we find the author getting his affairs in order, contemplating an impending doom as a result of the sickness. I don't know how you calculate it into today's money but a net worth of 9000 pounds would have been a tidy sum in 1665.

the way news was spread depended heavily on anecdote, the "newsbook", or newspaper was a recent invention and not everyone had access to the weekly death statistics, in the form of the Bill of Mortality (3/8)

"I parted and to the ferry, where I was forced to stay a great while before I could get my horse brought over, and then mounted and rode very finely to Dagenhams; all the way people, citizens, walking to and again to enquire how the plague is in the City this week by the Bill; which by chance, at Greenwich, I had heard was 2,020 of the plague, and 3,000 and odd of all diseases; but methought it was a sad question to be so often asked me."

note the Plague numbers were increasing, but had not passed the collective number of other diseases. That fact was short lived and the stories of frequency and short association in relation to deaths are becoming commonplace. (10/8)

"By and by to the office, where we sat all the morning; in great trouble to see the Bill this week rise so high, to above 4,000 in all, and of them above 3,000 of the plague. And an odd story of Alderman Bence’s stumbling at night over a dead corps in the streete, and going home and telling his wife, she at the fright, being with child, fell sicke and died of the plague. We sat late, and then by invitation my Lord Brunker, Sir J. Minnes, Sir W. Batten and I to Sir G. Smith’s to dinner, where very good company and good cheer. Captain Cocke was there and Jacke Fenn, but to our great wonder Alderman Bence, and tells us that not a word of all this is true, and others said so too, but by his owne story his wife hath been ill, and he fain to leave his house and comes not to her, which continuing a trouble to me all the time I was there."

this story turned out not to be true but soon rumors start to have macabre certainty.

then a short but powerful footnote in reference to the Bill of Mortality.(14/8) 

"Great fears we have that the plague will be a great Bill this weeke."

and a bizarre entry that seems to go some way to discuss the existential (15/8)

"Up by 4 o’clock and walked to Greenwich, where called at Captain Cocke’s and to his chamber, he being in bed, where something put my last night’s dream into my head, which I think is the best that ever was dreamt, which was that I had my Lady Castlemayne in my armes and was admitted to use all the dalliance I desired with her, and then dreamt that this could not be awake, but that it was only a dream; but that since it was a dream, and that I took so much real pleasure in it, what a happy thing it would be if when we are in our graves (as Shakespeare resembles it) we could dream, and dream but such dreams as this, that then we should not need to be so fearful of death, as we are this plague time."

only to be confronted by the following on the same day-

"It was dark before I could get home, and so land at Church-yard stairs, where, to my great trouble, I met a dead corps of the plague, in the narrow ally just bringing down a little pair of stairs. But I thank God I was not much disturbed at it. However, I shall beware of being late abroad again."

the following entry really hits home. He could be discussing a recent trip down Sydney Road (16/8)

"Thence to the Exchange, where I have not been a great while. But, Lord! how sad a sight it is to see the streets empty of people, and very few upon the ’Change. Jealous of every door that one sees shut up, lest it should be the plague; and about us two shops in three, if not more, generally shut up."

moments where there was a blatant fear one would contract the disease (18/8)

"Thence in Commissioner Pett’s coach (leaving them there). I late in the darke to Gravesend, where great is the plague, and I troubled to stay there so long for the tide. At 10 at night, having supped, I took boat alone, and slept well all the way to the Tower docke about three o’clock in the morning. So knocked up my people, and to bed."

travelling by water had it's problems, not only because of the tide, but also of fear (20/8)

"I ’light and paid off my post-horses, and so slipped on my shoes, and laid my things by, the tide not serving, and to church, where a dull sermon, and many Londoners. After church to my inn, and eat and drank, and so about seven o’clock by water, and got between nine and ten to Queenhive, very dark. And I could not get my waterman to go elsewhere for fear of the plague. Thence with a lanthorn (lantern), in great fear of meeting of dead corpses, carried to be buried; but, blessed be God, met none"

now a new dilemma - what to do with the bodies? certainly not a problem that concerns us (22/8)

"Up, and after much pleasant talke and being importuned by my wife and her two mayds, which are both good wenches, for me to buy a necklace of pearle for her, and I promising to give her one of 60l. in two years at furthest, and in less if she pleases me in her painting, I went away and walked to Greenwich, in my way seeing a coffin with a dead body therein, dead of the plague, lying in an open close belonging to Coome farme, which was carried out last night, and the parish have not appointed any body to bury it; but only set a watch there day and night, that nobody should go thither or come thence, which is a most cruel thing: this disease making us more cruel to one another than if we are doggs."

the impact of the Plague now imposes a grim, immediate reality (25/8)

"This day I am told that Dr. Burnett, my physician, is this morning dead of the plague; which is strange, his man dying so long ago, and his house this month open again. Now himself dead. Poor unfortunate man!"

but there is always a certain loathing; the presence of death seems to gaining momentum (26/8)

"Thence I by water home, in my way seeing a man taken up dead, out of the hold of a small catch that lay at Deptford. I doubt it might be the plague, which, with the thought of Dr. Burnett, did something disturb me, so that I did not what I intended and should have done at the office, as to business, but home sooner than ordinary, and after supper, to read melancholy alone, and then to bed."

everyday discussion deals with how the Plague has spread (29/8) 

"So rose and dressed myself, and away by land walking a good way, then remembered that I had promised Commissioner Pett to go with him in his coach, and therefore I went back again to him, and so by his coach to Greenwich, and called at Sir Theophilus Biddulph’s, a sober, discreet man, to discourse of the preventing of the plague in Greenwich, and Woolwich, and Deptford, where in every place it begins to grow very great." 

then there is the preoccupation of rumors and exaggeration, but not entirely without substance (30/8)

"Up betimes and to my business of settling my house and papers, and then abroad and met with Hadley, our clerke, who, upon my asking how the plague goes, he told me it encreases much, and much in our parish; for, says he, there died nine this week, though I have returned but six: which is a very ill practice, and makes me think it is so in other places; and therefore the plague much greater than people take it to be."

but the feeling in the community was something that couldn't be ignored

"Thence, as I intended, to Sir R. Viner’s, and there found not Mr. Lewes ready for me, so I went forth and walked towards Moorefields to see (God forbid my presumption!) whether I could see any dead corps going to the grave; but, as God would have it, did not. But, Lord! how every body’s looks, and discourse in the street is of death, and nothing else, and few people going up and down, that the towne is like a place distressed and forsaken." 

now I was intending to review four months of entries, but the sheer volume of the material I collected is overwhelming. The nature of the material I could easily give one appropriate descriptor - exponential.

 

terror - part two

 

once again, terror - not terrorism.

now this happened a little while ago so I waited to see if anything else would happen as a result of it. I am walking along the street and I can see this man become animated as he is walking towards me

"how the bloody hell are you!?!

"fine, WHO are you?"

"sorry, I forgot I was wearing a mask. It's me! From school!"

now more than three decades have passed so I can only hope for a little bit of latitude in this situation. But I can't remember this person for the life of me. To aid my memory, he starts to recall moments in time when a lot of people I remember fondly were there and we were all together.

then comes the moment of terror. I have many dear memories of these events and scenarios like they were yesterday. The problem is I can't remember this person being involved or present - at all. It's like someone had taken a detailed photograph of these experiences, then taken a pair of scissors and cut this person out of all of them. Everything he described.

at this point I can't even try to pretend being enthusiastic. Maybe as a strange defense mechanism he starts describing all the amazing things he has done since school. The positions he has held and all the monumental buckets of money he has made. It has become so obvious that he is offended that I don't remember him, then comes the riposte

"well, what have you been doing?"

I have no desire to engage in this.

"pretty much living my life, alright!"

then - a stony silence. after a few awkward pleasantries, we go about our way. but a new and different kind of terror has presented itself. He lives locally. Now I have to rely on my peripheral vision to see him out of the corner of my eye so I can avoid any type of gaze of acknowledgement. As a bizarre courtesy, the first time it happened recently, I notice that he has done the same. But even peripherally, I can tell he looks really pissed off.

maybe this event is just one reason as to why I have avoided school reunions like the plague.

terror.

terror - part one

 

not terrorism - terror.

so I am waiting in the queue of the supermarket and this woman next to me is staring at me, somewhat blankly. She has her mask pulled down off her face so this is freaking me out say, just a little bit. Then come the words,

"Peter, how are you?"

"Fine, WHO are you?"

then she continues to stare blankly at me. Now I am about to totally lose it, stating words like I swear I have never met you before in my life, so you better start explaining exactly who you are really fast.

she is standing near me on an angle, then she turns. Now I see the ear piece and the phone she is holding in her right hand. Then, it hits me like a hammer.

she is talking to another Peter on the phone. The realization doesn't come full circle because the other Peter on the phone is going into great deal of detail of exactly how he is, so she doesn't get a chance to reply for some time.

maybe I'm not cut out for certain aspects of this world today. I know it was a random act of chance but the situation might not have been elevated if this woman was wearing headphones. Adding to this, an ideal would have been me actually seeing the headphones connected to her telephone.

but i felt terror, nonetheless. It was pure and immediate.

let's call it for what it was. The whole moment scared the living shit out of me.

masks - a new perspective

 

I am sure that everyone is over wearing these damn masks for so many different reasons. I have one particular reason, but it may not be what you think.

the construction of the new rail link I have met many of the workers on a daily basis. There is one woman who works in traffic management who I have got to know as I have seen her since March. We have struck up an association; talking about the construction and the state of the world in general. Even swapped a few corny jokes along the way and stories from this very blog.

recently, schedules have changed and she is not around. I don't know if it is because of the lock down that makes me feel a certain way or having an association suddenly interrupted. 

now before you start thinking about certain and potential scenarios coming into play, I only have one thought. Fuck this virus. But fuck it for specific reasons. We have established an association and shared various moments, some funny and others reflective on the crazy nature of now.

but if I see her again, a number issues come to mind that I have to address. Maybe the first obvious one will be where the hell have you been?

but my main concerns come in the form of two questions; you may think of them as corny or crazy, you can interpret them any way you wish.

1. Am I ever going to see your face again?

2. What's your name?

construction zone

 

we're getting new train stations at Moreland and Coburg and I have to say I have mixed feelings about them. The first thing was that they destroyed Gandolfo Gardens in order to build Moreland; the amount of times I spent sitting under those 100 year old trees. There were two possible solutions that could have avoided this that were popular with a lot of the locals, first being build the railroad underground and not up in the air. The other alternative was put the new station on the other side of the removed crossing. I guess we were guilty of living in the wrong electorate.

Once construction started there was not only a lot of noise but different types of noise. One morning my whole flat was vibrating intensely. Now I live a few houses away from Station Street so I an only imagine what the people living on that street were going through, let alone the houses next to the actual rail corridor. A number of families were housed in temporary accommodation to compensate for this.

The one phenomenon of this construction that has been amazing that is an upside that coincides with the lock down - kids. The abundance of cranes of every shape and variety has been like real life Tonka toys on steroids for local children in the area. One day, a posse of children on those bikes without pedals were grouped on the corner at the end of my street just staring in awe. I had a chat with one of the mothers who approached the company to find out the times when certain cranes were being used in order that the posse could watch them in action. Then one of the kids could barely hold his excitement

"this is the greatest thing since.... ever!!"

I really have never seen so many cranes in one place. One day i was talking to a traffic control person and I made an off the cuff remark,

"can you get any more cranes here?"

he pointed to the road behind me; a truck was arriving with three small cranes on the back.

now one aspect in all this was my repressed inner Tonka fan. There was this one large crane and every time I looked out the window it had moved to another spot. What I would give to see it actually move. A few days ago and it was gone. I was gutted.

the thing I hope for in all this is that they at least try to restore the Gandolfo Gardens to something that resembles its former self.

genius

 

I am always mindful when the word hero is used when thinking about Christopher Hitchens, who used the term in reference to George Orwell

"who might have been my hero if I had heroes"

well, I'm going out on a limb here.

a hero and a genius.

Ian Dury

so I go back to a moment in time and an outlook that embraced me, at least musically - the shock of the new.

now there was a time when I had a circle of people who I trusted and their recommendation was enough. You could buy music without having heard it. If it was wrong you were banished from the circle for life, because import records were more expensive, so the words "I can't believe I spent 20 bucks on this pile of shit!!!" - and you were out.

the first album and what is this all about? A tiny skinhead on the front cover with a a boy in front of cut price clothing store. Then the first track, Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. I have no idea what the hell is going on. The rest of the disc and I am confronted with such an amazing blend of musical styles that are so bold and strong, with these lyrics full of a new ironic outlook.

late night music television and they start broadcasting live concerts and I am hooked. I am there.

now, there was some controversy in Australia. Inviting him to be a guest on a music awards show because he might be  - controversial. The irony in all this is that when he finally arrived here, he was hilarious and amazing.

I'm a bit reluctant to use video aids - I'll let my bad writing speak for itself, but this song came across as a whole new slant on a "punk" anthem.

because we were out here in remote Australia, we never heard that the song was banned from British radio. Later research finds it becoming an anthem for the Paralympics.

so many great tunes over time; I can't talk about them all or I'll be here forever.

and the genius? I never even remotely thought of him being disabled.

I never even remotely thought of him being unable

even after his death - still don't think that way now. When I hear someone great has passed away like Lyle Mays or Maurizio Arcieri, then I read the condolences I usually reply

how can they be dead? Just listen.

creepy

 

regular readers will know of the usual parade of indignant shoppers going ballistic over products at supermarkets, putting tellers through hell for no apparent reason and people ranting loudly on trams to themselves over the latest conspiracy theory.

today was different - a whole new world of different.

all I am doing is sitting and eating. An old man with no mask on walks up to me and stands over me. Forget social distancing, this was way too close. Leaning over my head

"can you believe the cops are after me?"

and presto! magically, my inner dialogue is magically back again! This is now in the territory of creepy scary. My train of thought has now transformed into get this psycho away from me as quick as possible.

I'm drinking a can of coke. He offers me his lighter for it.

"I don't want it. I'm drinking the can"

Although it wasn't blatant, he started demanding he wanted the can.

in my best "I am not coping with this current situation at all" parlance, come the words,

"I'm leaving now."

then he wants to shake my hand, coming across like he has no understanding of the current situation at all.

"I'm not doing that"

and I got the hell away.

probably the first time I have ever actually been confronted like this; I can only hope it never happens again.

Pepys diary entries April to July 1665

 

so the intent of this overview of the diary entries was to see the similarities and the differences, to the virus of now.

the first entry I could find was the end of April - the 30th.

"Great fears of the sickenesse here in the City, it being said that two or three houses are already shut up. God preserve as all!"

which displays how quickly the powers that were implemented in their version of the modern lock down. This entry is a brief document of the early fear of a rumor transforming into fact. This is the one entry of two talking about the "sicknesse", toward the end of May the term "plague" is part of the daily lexicon.

now in early March the Anglo-Dutch war had started, so there were a lot of political discussion going on. I don't know how you would compare such discussions with now.

"Thence to the Coffee-house with Creed, where I have not been a great while, where all the newes is of the Dutch being gone out, and of the plague growing upon us in this towne; and of remedies against it: some saying one thing, some another."

remedies and rumors. 

one remedy that was on offer was plague water

"A name given to a variety of medicinal waters of supposed efficacy against the plague. Most commonly it was a distillation of various herbs and roots that were believed to be efficacious. The recipe given by Eliza Smith was typical in that it contained no less than 22 herbal products, both leaves and roots, all steeped in WHITE WINE and BRANDY and then distilled"

now the majority of these entries focus on June and July, which gives you an idea of how voracious this plague was. 1 entry each for April and May; 9 for June and 14 for July.

so now come the rumors and warnings. June (8/6)

"Alone at home to dinner, my wife, mother, and Mercer dining at W. Joyce’s; I giving her a caution to go round by the Half Moone to his house, because of the plague."

then, two days later (10/6); a rampant transition, the plague is on the way - 

"to my great trouble, hear that the plague is come into the City (though it hath these three or four weeks since its beginning been wholly out of the City); but where should it begin but in my good friend and neighbor's, Dr. Burnett, in Fanchurch Street: which in both points troubles me mightily."

there is the discussion of actual numbers (15/6)

"The towne grows very sickly, and people to be afeard of it; there dying this last week of the plague 112, from 43 the week before, whereof but [one] in Fanchurch-streete, and one in Broad-streete, by the Treasurer’s office."

discussion of outbreaks confined to certain areas (20/6)

"This day I informed myself that there died four or five at Westminster of the plague in one alley in several houses upon Sunday last, Bell Alley, over against the Palace-gate; yet people do think that the number will be fewer in the towne than it was the last weeke!"

more evidence of "lock down" and actual fear and loathing that the plague has taken hold (26/6)

"So, weary, home, and to my office a while, till almost midnight, and so to bed. The plague encreases mightily, I this day seeing a house, at a bitt-maker’s over against St. Clement’s Church, in the open street, shut up; which is a sad sight."

by the end of June (29/6) weekly death reporting is embraced. At this stage there also seems to be an exodus from the City. One notable was the Queen Mother who left for France, never to return as she died there of opiate assisted death in 1670.

also at the end of June (30/6), the feeling of being grateful but wholly aware of the plague

"Thus this book of two years ends. Myself and family in good health, consisting of myself and wife, Mercer, her woman, Mary, Alice, and Susan our maids, and Tom my boy. In a sickly time of the plague growing on." 

the start of July (1/7) and things are escalating

"Thence by coach and late at the office, and so to bed. Sad at the newes that seven or eight houses in Bazing Hall street, are shut up of the plague."

the troubles of performing your daily work and the nature of isolation and separation (5/7)

"Being come to Deptford, my Lady not being within, we parted, and I by water to Woolwich, where I found my wife come, and her two mayds, and very prettily accommodated they will be; and I left them going to supper, grieved in my heart to part with my wife, being worse by much without her, though some trouble there is in having the care of a family at home in this plague time, and so took leave, and I in one boat and W. Hewer in another home very late, first against tide, we having walked in the dark to Greenwich.

Late home and to bed, very lonely."

by the middle of July (13/7), mention of the Plague becomes a depressing footnote

"Above 700 died of the plague this week."

now there is some concern over where people are being buried (18/7), maybe for two reasons, not only health but religious. There had been some mention of being buried in the walled security grounds of a parish

"I was much troubled this day to hear at Westminster how the officers do bury the dead in the open Tuttle-fields, pretending want of room elsewhere; whereas the New Chappell churchyard was walled-in at the publick charge in the last plague time, merely for want of room and now none, but such as are able to pay dear for it, can be buried there."

now the plague is established as a grim mindset (20/7), there is also the introduction of the plague water mentioned earlier

"So walked to Redriffe, where I hear the sickness is, and indeed is scattered almost every where, there dying 1089 of the plague this week. My Lady Carteret did this day give me a bottle of plague-water home with me." 

once again, further evidence of the grim mindset (21/7)

"So home and late at my chamber, setting some papers in order; the plague growing very raging, and my apprehensions of it great."

further debate over burials (22/7)

"Only, while I was there, a poor woman come to scold with the master of the house that a kinswoman, I think, of hers, that was newly dead of the plague, might be buried in the church-yard; for, for her part, she should not be buried in the commons, as they said she should."

plus, on the same day, strange gossip in the newspapers

"I met this noon with Dr. Burnett, who told me, and I find in the newsbook this week that he posted upon the ’Change, that whoever did spread the report that, instead of the plague, his servant was by him killed, it was forgery, and shewed me the acknowledgment of the master of the pest-house, that his servant died of a bubo on his right groine, and two spots on his right thigh, which is the plague."

reporting seems to be fully embraced (25/7)

"But sad the story of the plague in the City, it growing mightily. This day my Lord Brunker did give me Mr. Grant’s book upon the Bills of Mortality, new printed and enlarged."

the fear that the plague has made it so close to home (26/7)

"The sicknesse is got into our parish this week, and is got, indeed, every where; so that I begin to think of setting things in order, which I pray God enable me to put both as to soul and body."

although weekly, it seems the reporting is about to be something of a daily occurrence (27/7)

"At home met the weekly Bill, where above 1000 encreased in the Bill, and of them, in all about 1,700 of the plague"

so there it is; an overview of the first four months of the plague of 1665, which kind of feels like the first two months as far as the intensity of spreading goes.

maybe a person could draw some similarities to now. In my mind, some of the differences have their own qualities 

 

the point

maybe it was this week that resulted in today. Everything has been building up to this point. People are starting to complain about so many things. I get the feeling from people I have come across that all the assurances given are hollow - no one is buying it.

so they were performing electrical works for the new train station on Moreland Road and half the road where the crossing used to be was closed. So was a side street. Standing on the corner of Moreland and Station Street I thought, this should be entertaining, but there was something a little extra going on today.

not the usual incompetence and confusion by the drivers; half of them were really angry. The stand out was a woman who was adamant she had to get through and gave a heated explanation as to why, then started the explanation all over again as to why she had to go through the side street. Horns started blaring from the other drivers as she had this unique talent of placing her car in a certain way on the road that meant that no one could leave. Then the horns became yelling. Then abuse. Then swearing. She finally managed to do a U turn, which was timely because people started getting out of cars.

there seem to be more people on the tram ranting to themselves today. The conspiracy theories are flowing thick and fast as to how we got into this mess. 

the two police officers I spoke to the other day were standing outside Woolworth's again and told me this last week has been really strange, tense. The gift shop in the mall was open this week because the owner was sick and tired being in lock down. They fined them and closed it down but not after a fair exchange of hostility. Plus they mentioned there seem to have been a number of people losing it in the middle of the street, for no real reason. Going into a rage over the slightest thing

now I have no desire to be a harbinger of doom; these are just observations. But I get the feeling that we have reached the point

what that point is I have not the foggiest idea.

but all the way home a man on the tram was having quite the violent argument with his partner. She was really quiet and then came the realization; she wasn't his partner, she was just another passenger on the tram. After a few stops she got off the tram and he proceeded to continue having the full on argument with himself.

after a while there was a slight break in the hostility as he started friendly waving out the window

to no one

 

no mask - no service

I am standing in the middle open part of Barkly Square. Thought I'd take a break and sat on the stairs. This person stands near me and isn't wearing a mask. So at this stage of the proceedings, a number of scenarios come to mind.

Some kind of medical exemption

Some kind of mental illness

Some kind of self righteous wanker

I am wearing a shield and not a mask, so the person can see my look of confusion, and the look of pure indignation was a beacon for scenario three being the one as far as this person is concerned. 

maybe combined with a bit of scenario two.

then came the words "so do you have a problem with me not wearing a mask?"

"yes but not for the reasons you think"

"and what are those reasons?"

"you are exhausting and beyond boring. a week ago I might have been annoyed, but now you make me feel sad to the core of my being. I hate all of this but at least I have some rudimentary idea of the common good" 

so this pillar of joy storms off into the mall. a few moments later I am walking past the supermarket and there was yelling at the counter. Can you guess who was yelling?

what did this person expect? some kind of magical exemption?

whatever your agenda, ideals or even your general outlook on life. 

please, this is so tiring.

just let it go.

the file

 

maybe the month was July or August, so it's safe to say that it was well into proceedings in relation to the virus. Also safe to say that it was well into proceedings in relation to the tension associated with the virus.

I am at the local supermarket and as I am shopping I can hear some yelling coming from the registers. I get to the counter and there is silence but you can feel a certain strain; a feeling like all arguments have been exhausted and there is a stand off at hand.

a woman is standing at the final register with a packet of hand sanitizing wipes. She lets out a scream and throws the wipes at the head of the young man behind the counter, hitting him right in the forehead. 

yes, throws the wipes at the head of the young man behind the counter, hitting him right in the forehead. 

I thought there was no need to make the situation worse, so I asked the woman if she could do me a favor. She lunged at me

"what do you want?"

" can you leave as quickly as possible?"

I don't know where he was but the security guard came around the corner and the woman bolted out of there as fast as she could. I didn't hang around because the security guard was consoling the man behind the register who was in shock.

one week later and I am at another supermarket on Sydney Road. As I get closer and who do I see at the counter? None other than the hand sanitizer wipe woman. As if she could sense me she turns around. We lock eyes, then she averts her gaze by quickly looking straight ahead.

Now I have to say something - based on recent events and for the common good of the people at the registers.

"watch this one, she is totally bat shit crazy"

once served, she darts out of there as fast as she can and I tell the register people the tale of wipe rage I experienced recently. They were more than grateful as they could get a screen shot off the security cameras and put it in the file. Without any provocation on my behalf the server pulls it out from under the counter. The file.

The nut job file.

All the wackos and those with some strange primordial rage against certain consumer products have their picture taken from the CCTV and put in the nut job file.

Now don't get me wrong and accuse me of being politically incorrect; it was the name of the book. They even had the name of it written in the foreword.

and it's the size of a phone book. Then some information that's not all that surprising

"it's funny, but the book has doubled in size in the last 3 months"

 

yeah nah

 

I know this is amazing seeing Happy Drunk Barry two days in a row - but what is even more amazing what he said today. He is sitting with his mate in Coburg Mall; I walk up to them in mid conversation.

His mate asks the question, "so what do you reckon about that?"

"yeah, nah, yeah"

"so what do you reckon about that?"

"yeah, nah, yeah....nah"

"yeah....nah?"

"yeah....nah"

"you're shitting me"

"nah"

then, all of a sudden, Ice Head Dave starts screaming uncontrollably over who knows what. Happy Drunk Barry delivers some sage advice

"Jesus Dave, can you bloody calm down, you're giving us all the shits!"

something is strangely calming when Happy Drunk Barry is around. Plus he tells the greatest stories about his life without the slightest provocation - and they're always different.

I never did find out what Happy Drunk Barry and his mate were talking about

yesterday

 all my troubles seemed so far away..... 

I wish.

3 incidents in one day

1. the mad swearing woman with no mask on.

I am about to get on the tram and this couple are talking to the bus customer support person. I say the term talking loosely because the woman was peppering her speech with expletives about how they were going to get to Flemington. So we all get on the tram and the swearing and the complaining continues. I mention to her partner that if you get off at Barkly Square, you can catch the train from there. Then silence. Glorious silence.

but then the look and I know what is coming. Why do these people go out of their way to do this?

"next you're going to ask me why I'm not wearing a fucking mask"

and my response?

"no"

"no?"

"no"

2. happy drunk Barry

so I am sitting near the climbing wall across the road from Barkly Square and happy drunk Barry walks up and says hello. I like him. He is a little loud but he has a heart of gold. I know him from Victoria Street mall in Coburg.

a minute later and this woman comes up to me and asks how I know Barry.So let's dispense with all the nonsense because the discussion leads to her connection with Barry and the salvation army. Then Donald Trump and one nation under god. This crazy woman wants me to get straight with Jesus. 

my response? Well, my perfect response would be I don't need the edicts of a  fictitious man in the sky to be morally good. My actual response?

"please, go away"

3. Aldi

Aldi is closed. There are all these people out the front and a police car. A man jumps into his car and yells abuse at a man talking to the police, then drives away. I have no idea what is going on, then later, Aldi puts a sign up in the window saying they are closed due to power failure.

I have no idea what is going on but Aldi is closed.

survival

 

just when you thought you've seen everything in this climate of joy right now, another day comes along and pulls that ol' chair from underneath you once again.

It's official: I really don't care what anyone does to get by right now; short of breaking the law.

I am so over lock down, so beyond caring. The latest phenomenon is stores putting a table at the entrance so, technically, they are not open to customers in the store, but they are open for service.Their store is their living, so knock yourself out.

so, I thought I shall support this store I just so happen to come across so I knock on the table.

and wait a minute. So I knock on the table and wait even longer. Keep in mind, it was a long store. I thought he might be on the phone out the back

I thought, I'd give it one last loud knock and I've tried my best - can't do better than that. Mid - knock and a man walks in a hurried manner towards me with a curt look on his face

"Mate! can't you read the...."

I look down in front of the table and see a piece of cardboard. I pick it up and on the other side, written in large letters with marker,

"please ring bell for service"

the man's look has transformed into a strange blend of bewildered and annoyed as he glanced around the table. He then looks up at me - defeated.

"Jesus! I don't know who has done this, but someone has racked off with my bell!"

the lengths you have to go to to try and survive in this day.

both sides now redux

sorry, but I can't help asking a few questions in relation to yesterday's statistics

so here we are, the figures as of yesterday

6,490,000 estimated population of Victoria (June 2020)

2,497,710 total tests- 38.48% of population

19,872 total cases - 0.30%

18006 recovered - 0.27%

1,075 active cases - 0.016%

729 total lives lost - 0.011%

42 deaths 20's to 60's - 0.0006%

683 deaths 70's to 100's - 0.0105%

so what are the amounts of metropolitan and regional numbers in all these figures?

what are the amounts of all those people who visited Centrelink from middle March to middle July with no distancing - how many?

how old were all those people who visited Centrelink from middle March to middle July? certainly not in their 70's to 100's?

once again, I am not, nor will I ever, advocate doing nothing, but when you break it down, the what is happening now in Victoria comes across as punitive and dumb.

both sides now

 

so here's the thing that really annoys me right now. You get a feed of information that you want to hear. Certain YouTube clips, favorite pages, even images blowing smoke up your ass, giving you the ability to concur with something you probably already agree with even before you see it.

but I am having a time of it in Victoria right now. But I don't have the view from the point of all or nothing. It's much more complex than that. Here's some recent information

Latest Victorian Numbers. Updated: 14/9/2020 05:30pm

35 new cases (last 24 hours)

19,872 total cases

8,937 test results received (last 24 hours)

2,497,710 total tests

7 lives lost (last 24 hours)

729 total lives lost

1,075 active cases

18,006 recovered  

so the following is the age groups of those who have died nation wide and broken down by state

ACT    NSW    QLD  SA  TAS VIC     WA MISC

20s         1

30s         2

40s         3     1

50s 1         13

60s 1 4     1     1         23     1         1

70s 12     3     3     5         116     5

80s 2 18     3     5         307     2         2

90s 16     3         251         3

100s  9

now I am not of the view that Victoria should have done nothing, but looking at these figures, it is obvious that something should have and should be done in regards to the people in their 70's to 90's. Such a point that is hard to ignore. As to the numbers prior to the 70's, I'm not so sure.

that period from middle March to Middle July with all those people in front of Centrelink. Was the virus in some naive state? You could tell because it was wearing nappies. 

now I would like a break down of other data in regards to age of total cases and age of those recovered. screw it, I want all the data in regards to the virus. Every set. Every sub-set.

I want to make an informed view as to why we have come to the conclusion as to why we need such a stringent lock down. Problem is - I can't get the data because the powers that be won't release it. I have no problem with being pro - active. Looking at all the figures above, I can't help get the feeling that the whole thing comes across as heavy handed. But then again, all I can do is have a "vibe" because I can't get a full break down of the information.

then there are the two sides to our newly found desire to be totalitarian: the pregnant girl in Ballarat, talk about one of the tiniest and most harmless creatures on the face of the earth. Are there any hidden Kung Fu skills we are unaware of? In Ballarat which is stage 3 and not stage 4 lock down? Being accused of insighting something she was about to do? That could have easily been cancelled, postponed, deferred and/or totally abandoned

To the girl pulled over in  - and out of her car in Kalkallo, I'm sorry but in this situation all you really needed to do was avoid being a precious wanker. All he wanted you to do is identify yourself.

the opposite to all this in my mind was, and is, to do absolutely nothing. But I can't help feeling is the solution going to the other extreme? What is the balance? I would love to see how the conclusion was formed.