television observations 1

 

Australian television is probably the most mysterious phenomenon in current times. Mysterious in one specific way. In how positively annoying it is.

examples? 

once upon a time a show was scheduled for say, 8:30 pm and it started at that time. You could set your watch to it - to the second. Not 8:34 or some other oblique scheduling.

if the news readers could give us just one one thing - the news. Not ten minutes maximum every half hour with the rest of the time filled with "magazine style" items, filled with some of the strangest biases and blatant product cross promotion. Or the wacky observations of the hosts. 

food shows featuring meals you will never prepare, let alone eat. Talent shows with people screaming out one hit wonders from the 80's and 90's.

but there is one fond and dear, dear exception. The day is Sunday and for the period of one and a half hours, pure entertainment is the goal. If it was a soccer game, when it ended you could not even begin to believe the final score.

Border Security - Australia's Front Line. 

you think it is just a show about customs officers at airports? Inspectors at mail handling centers? It is all that and so much more. It goes to the very heart of the examination of serial morons and the monumentally arrogant.

people feigning ignorance after filling out their declaration card incorrectly. Or alternately; totally losing it and going into a white seething rage. For bringing in bird saliva or food infested with bugs or dirt. But in both cases afterwards, haggling over whether they should pay the fine.

or one amazing event in the field of mail contraband. A box of Kopi luwak - coffee that is made from beans extracted from the feces of a civet

In one very special episode, a passenger was x-rayed and in one rare moment they had to use the special toilet to sift out the heroin filled condoms from their excrement! It looked like something out of a science fiction movie!

but really, the very worst of human nature as entertainment.

It doesn't get any better than that.